i love us

Today Jackson is 1 1/2 years old. I cannot believe how fast the past 18 months have flown by. Last night I became extremely emotional thinking how fast it all went by and reflected on the lesson i learned this week to simply slow down, take my time and finish what i started. (see previous blog post on our first visit to Children's Hospital)

Jack is everywhere now. Running, climbing, knocking things over and every day is another learning experience for me on what more needs to be baby proofed in our home. It's a monthly tradition on this day that I remember the day of his birth. It was such a blur to me that I usually ask another person's perspective (my husband, my mom & in-laws) but I think I finally have the timeline down.

Jack was 3 weeks late. It was a long 3 weeks as I took the time away from the office and worked from home. I didn't have much to keep me busy except the overflowing Facebook notifications and phone messages of people asking "Any sign of baby yet?"  

On February 5, I was sent to West Allis Women's Pavillion hospital because I was barely dilated, maybe a 1/2 cm. I was there to take medicine in order to help me dilate prior to being induced in the morning. My loving husband slept on the couch and we awoke on Friday February 6th at 7AM to my nurse checking in and getting ready to give me my pain meds. At this time, the only pain I was feeling was terrible back pain. I was sitting on the big bouncy ball to help my back when my doctor strolled in. "Time to break your water!!".

What? Already? WTF. I was terrified and by the look on my husband's face, he was as well. I didn't feel a thing when she broke my water and when the nurse put the cathedar in. (PS - loved not moving when i peed)

After an hour of just sitting there and barely dilating, they decided to begin inducing labor.

It was near 9:30AM because I saw Kelly Rippa on TV. Immediately when they began the Pitocin drip, the baby's heart rate dropped. I was in the midst of an Epidural when about ten hospital  members ran into the room. I was flipped over on my hands & knees with an oxygen mask strapped to my face. I looked like a dog. My bare end was showing for all the room to see but my mind was in mommy mode. I no longer cared about myself or anyone else in that room except for my son. I saw my husband's face. He looked scared. He was pale, sick and worried. (I believe a nurse just told him that they might prep me for emergency surgery so I caught his expression after the fact). They removed the Pitocin drip and Jack's heartrate was back to normal...time to relax and get back to that Epidural!

Following the Epidural, I couldn't feel anything from the waste down. A nurse kept rolling my big ole belly from side to side and had to shift my legs for me. The pain meds and the Epidural took any soft of feeling away from me. The only discomfort I felt throughout the entire day was minor contractions which I would rate a 2/10 on a pain scale. Anytime they came about, I would need complete silence and would just breathe...I suprised myself at how calm, cool & collect (and polite) I was throughout the day. I imagined myself to be a raging bitch to everyone and my husband. The only thing that irritated me was the ice chips...seriously, give me some water to chug because my mouth is dry. My loving husband ran around so many times fetching ice chips. God Bless him.

So this went on and on and on throughout the day. Shifting back and forth, minor contractions, increaing the Pitocin equaled a few more oxygen masks & being flipped over, reducing the Pitocin and still barely dilated. You would think that someone would step in and say...hey, let's just cut her open, but No.

Finally, it was around 5PM and my doctor's partner Dr. Liz Deckers stepped in and said, enough is enough. "You are only at 4 centimeters dilated and the baby hasn't moved. We are going to take you in and do an emergency C-Section." I was fine with it. I knew this baby was going to be big and that it would amount to this anyways; I was even begging my OB to schedule me one and take the short cut.

After being prepped for the OR, sanitized, re-sanitized after vomiting (some intern raised the scalpal too high over the curtain), test poked six times and doused with anesthetics, I was open. My husband was escorted in and saw my open body. I was terrified for him. I demanded that the nurse to hold his hand when walking in (he is afraid of hospitals) and there he was...smiling, anxious and ready to do this. He held my hand and listened as the staff talked us through the procedure.

"The head! The head! Here's your baby's head," a staff member yelled. My husband STOOD UP and looked. I was so proud of him!  Pressure, tons of pushing and finally relief. We heard two wimpy cries and that was our boy! Jackson was born at 6:13PM on February 6, 2009 - 18 months ago today. My husband ran over to the incubator to take pictures and to bring our son over to meet his mommy. We later found out that Jack's cord was wrapped around his neck twice which made the labor unsuccessful. Knowing his personality and his dislike of shirts stuck around his neck while changing, it all makes sense.

With all the anesthetics, I lost feeling from the neck down so I was unable to hold Jackson. Brian did all the holding, cooing and kissing for the both of us. I don't know if he cried, but I know I did. It was a moment that both of us will remember forever and make sure to reflect on the 6th of every month.